Can't stop listening to Dear You at the moment. Sort of a fitting time considering someone just gave me a little dent not too long ago. Life is way stressful lately, but my holiday was alright. It is crazy how the older you get the less exciting Christmas is. To me, it is another excuse for the family to get together and for fights to break out. (Can you tell I grew up with divorced parents?)
Tomorrow is New Year's, to be honest I planned on partying with my friends until i don't remember most of 2009. But then I figured I knew that wouldn't help anything. Probably gonna end up crashing at home before the ball even drops.
I can't wait for school to start so that I have something to keep me occupied and keep my mind off of everything around me.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
I forgot I even had this thing...
It's Christmas eve. Holler to presents and $ tonight from relatives I see only once a year. (That day would be today) Its almost the end of 2009, and what a year it has been. Am I the only one to think that this year flew by so incredibly fast? I can hardly remember this time last year, probably had some stupid crush on some stupid boy and attended some parties with my best friend kasey. I can't remember the kind of person I was though, I know I've changed a lot. Music was pretty sick this year. Lady Gaga made the best pop record of 09' hands down. And Paramore brought their shit too. Man Overboard's new stuff was really refreshing. Set Your Goals never fails me. I'm anxiously awaiting the new I Am The Avalanche in 2010.. oh wait, that is my graduating year..
Am I really a senior? Is this really my last year of high school? I think i've been waiting for this day since the second i boarded the school bus for kindergarten. I got accepted to some cool schools, but I plan on attended the Art Institute of Philadelphia. I start college in July... uhhh.
Well anyway, Merry Chrismahanakwanzica to you all.
Lets become awesome people in 2010.
Am I really a senior? Is this really my last year of high school? I think i've been waiting for this day since the second i boarded the school bus for kindergarten. I got accepted to some cool schools, but I plan on attended the Art Institute of Philadelphia. I start college in July... uhhh.
Well anyway, Merry Chrismahanakwanzica to you all.
Lets become awesome people in 2010.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
2 am
my apologies for the MAJOR lack in updating.
I've dissapointed myself. I'm really into reinventing myself right now.
For the past two hours i imed, messaged, called, texted anyone who i've had beef with or issues in that past few years. Not to better myself so i can sleep at night, but because I really sat here for a few hours thinking, why waste the energy on 'hating' or 'disliking' someone. they're only human, they make mistakes, as do i.
i've really come to terms with myself lately. i worry too much about what others think of me. i try to act like i have the hardest outer shell, when in reality you could tear me in pieces if you really wanted to.
i've had my arguments in the past, to the point where i couldn't scream anymore. i've given a few people some black eyes and busted lips (sorry about that) to the point where i have no more energy left. i really waste my time. i know now how to keep my distance from those who might be a negative impact in my life.
but what really has been getting to me lately, are those few out there that put these words in my mouth. i really want to be everyones best friend, i really want to laugh with everyone. however, there are a few out there who for some reason love putting me in the position of everyone thinking im one thing, when im another.
am i rambling? im rambling. get on with it.
i'm going to pull the typical teenager apathetic card and say how misunderstood i am. there was one person who told me, if im so misunderstood, change it and if not than fuck it. simple advice, but good advice.
ive come to the realization that there are some people whos opinions i can not change. but some are at least worth a shot.
to the boy that once broke my heart:
i hope you realize that what you're becoming is so much lower than what you should be. i hope someday you realize that before its too late.
to the boy whos heart i broke:
i cant begin to tell you how sorry i am. in reality, you're a great person. but my heart wasn't that patched up yet and i was selfish with you. someday you'll understand why.
to those whom i've created amazing friendships with:
you were my rocks this whole school year! i met some of the best people and you all opened me up to new worlds. I could never repay you all!
to those whom ive grown apart from/ended friendships with:
we're too young to keep these pesty fueds full of drama and nonsense going on, lets move on!
to that girl i beat up:
sorry about that.
to that one girl who got a lot of shit this year:
youre the one person i don't feel sorry for.
to whom it may concern:
im not perfect. i don't think highly of myself. i make mistakes. i open my mouth when i shouldn't sometimes. but so do you. i repeat things i shouldnt. but so do you.
i sort of lost myself a little this year, did things i said i never would do. Im regaining myself back, turning over the freshest leaf.
im all that i can be.
I've dissapointed myself. I'm really into reinventing myself right now.
For the past two hours i imed, messaged, called, texted anyone who i've had beef with or issues in that past few years. Not to better myself so i can sleep at night, but because I really sat here for a few hours thinking, why waste the energy on 'hating' or 'disliking' someone. they're only human, they make mistakes, as do i.
i've really come to terms with myself lately. i worry too much about what others think of me. i try to act like i have the hardest outer shell, when in reality you could tear me in pieces if you really wanted to.
i've had my arguments in the past, to the point where i couldn't scream anymore. i've given a few people some black eyes and busted lips (sorry about that) to the point where i have no more energy left. i really waste my time. i know now how to keep my distance from those who might be a negative impact in my life.
but what really has been getting to me lately, are those few out there that put these words in my mouth. i really want to be everyones best friend, i really want to laugh with everyone. however, there are a few out there who for some reason love putting me in the position of everyone thinking im one thing, when im another.
am i rambling? im rambling. get on with it.
i'm going to pull the typical teenager apathetic card and say how misunderstood i am. there was one person who told me, if im so misunderstood, change it and if not than fuck it. simple advice, but good advice.
ive come to the realization that there are some people whos opinions i can not change. but some are at least worth a shot.
to the boy that once broke my heart:
i hope you realize that what you're becoming is so much lower than what you should be. i hope someday you realize that before its too late.
to the boy whos heart i broke:
i cant begin to tell you how sorry i am. in reality, you're a great person. but my heart wasn't that patched up yet and i was selfish with you. someday you'll understand why.
to those whom i've created amazing friendships with:
you were my rocks this whole school year! i met some of the best people and you all opened me up to new worlds. I could never repay you all!
to those whom ive grown apart from/ended friendships with:
we're too young to keep these pesty fueds full of drama and nonsense going on, lets move on!
to that girl i beat up:
sorry about that.
to that one girl who got a lot of shit this year:
youre the one person i don't feel sorry for.
to whom it may concern:
im not perfect. i don't think highly of myself. i make mistakes. i open my mouth when i shouldn't sometimes. but so do you. i repeat things i shouldnt. but so do you.
i sort of lost myself a little this year, did things i said i never would do. Im regaining myself back, turning over the freshest leaf.
im all that i can be.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
hmm
Nothing is really that new these days. My Birthday is coming up, thats about it.
Party, only not really.
Birthdays do indeed suck & im going to a show.
gnight.
Party, only not really.
Birthdays do indeed suck & im going to a show.
gnight.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
good morning
Im currently laying down at Kyla's house, listening to the movielife . I haven't updated this, im sure the MILLLLIONS of people who read this are sooo disapointed. Joking, obviously. Spring term started, and its not that bad. I just have a lot of work. There are like, 9? weeks of school left! I'm excited but its going to be sad to see some people go. Anywaaay not much else is going on, so this is basically pointless .
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